Humanist Ceremonies

We've had an inspiring day at The House Meadow.

This afternoon we had an informal meeting with Croianna Bradshaw, a celebrant for weddings and partnerships accredited by the British Humanist Association.

We, like many couples we have met, were a little unsure about what a Humanist Ceremony was all about. Upon visiting the humanist website I was still non the wiser, generally because I have the attention span of a gnat, so arranging a meeting with a local Celebrant seemed like the way forward. So, here's the low down as I see it...

A Humanist Ceremony is a non religious celebration of marriage. The ceremony has no restrictive boundaries, you can marry anywhere you like with no rule book dictating which 'licensed plot' you must marry within. Massive tick. Also, you can marry whenever you like...dusk, dawn, midnight it's up to you. Massive tick. So, the obvious places at The House Meadow would be on the island, in the woodland, under the oak tree...the choice is yours. The celebrant will lead the ceremony, however your vows, readings, promises (yes, you can make him promise to do the washing up!) can all be written by you. There are no set guide lines but if you need advice on how to structure the ceremony then your celebrant can advise you. Your ceremony can be as conventional or as laid back as you wish, it is so personal. If you'd like live music, cue the violinists, you can. Even great aunt Ethel who is mega religious can say a prayer, the celebrant just stands to one side. So, I'd say that keeps everyone happy wouldn't you?

I know I know, there is one problem in this, it's not 'on paper' an official marriage. I was shocked to discover that in Scotland Humanist Celebrants can be licensed registrars too, yet in England this is not the case, booooo. It is going to parliament though so fingers crossed for the future. Anyway, I digress. Yes, to be legally married you need to pop to the registry office (£40) with 2 witnesses to sign your marriage certificate, but (and this to me was significant) you do not need to be declared man and wife and you do not need to exchange rings. Superb. So your marriage certificate is merely your license to wed. A fabulous way of putting it was this "When buying a house you don't remember the day you signed the contract, you remember the day you moved in". I think I'd even keep it as casual as to put it on a to do list alongside 'pick up wedding cake', 'call the caterer'....'get marriage certificate'! Fabulous! Your ceremony will be the first time you exchange rings and the first time you are declared man and wife. Perfect.

Your ceremony is your declaration, a promise to each other celebrated in front of all your closet friends and family so now for the tingly stuff. I swear I must be a hippy at heart (that's what Rob just told me) but check out these ideas for something truly meaningful....

+If you have a small bridal party (up to about 40) you can run a length of ribbon to all your guests, and then, at the start of the ceremony the wedding ring gets threaded on to the ribbon. Your guests hold the ring and silently make a wish for the couple and then pass it on through the rest of the bridal party, ending back in the hands of the couple who then make their vows. Gorgeous or what?

+There is a special way (don't ask me how) to do a hand fastening. This is where the celebrant links your hands together during the ceremony and ties them with ribbon. Once your ceremony is complete you part hands and the ribbon streams away to allow your hands to separate yet reveals a knot to show the promise you have made. Awwwwww.

+Croianna also had a lovely vision of the two families camping over in separate yurt villages the night before and then following a dawn ceremony, the couple now married and their families, join each other in a day celebration.

+Croianna has also experienced many ways to link families and children into the ceremonies. A lovely idea for the families of the couples (namely the mother in laws) is to bring earth from each family home and as a gift to each other "I give you my son" "I give you my daughter" they mix the earth and keep it (probably in a pretty jar or pot!) but what a lovely way to show the linking of the two families. Cute. Also, many couples have children of their own and/or step children and the couple can write in promises to make the children feel included in the marriage and their families future. I know I'd make my babies a huge part of our ceremony given the chance!

These are all just ideas though, as ever, it's your day, do it your way.

Hopefully that covers the most of it, and I hope, inspires many of you to step out of the conformity we're led to believe we must follow. It's not wacky or crazily ritualistic, its just all about you and your love for each other.

I just would like to wrap this up by passing on Croianna's contact details, I know she'd be more than happy to meet with you here at The House Meadow to chat through the many more possibilities that are out there.

Croianna Bradshaw
croianna@gmail.com
07989 746580
http://humanist.org.uk/croiannabradshaw

Enjoy x